Which desires are tempting you?

I must admit I’ve been fooled in the past by all the temptation of Internet riches: the car, the large house, the luxury holidays, etc. It sounds great, but do I really want that?

Some people are able to just sell anything to earn money, a bit like some market traders. That’s one of the tasks on the well-know TV show ‘The Apprentice’ by the way.

I myself really need to be able to put my heart into whatever it is I’m doing, or it won’t last. This is most likely what explains my failures in the past.

How can you find your authentic desire, a desire for success that really fires you up and fulfills you? There are some simple steps that can be taken to develop this.

The author of The Motivated Mind (J.M. Gracia) outlines six needs that have to be satisfied to enjoy happiness and success:

CONTROL We need to have a reasonable amount of control over ourselves and our lives, or we will constantly be worried about the future…”what if I get fired, what if I can’t pay the rent, what if my girlfriend/boyfriend leaves me?”, etc.

CHANGE We need variety to keep us interested and excited about what’s around the corner. This could be travelling to other places, meeting new people, changing your job, etc.

CENTER We need to feel a sense of importance, a sense that we matter to others and play a central role in their lives. Through the Internet for example we could develop this by finding our passion, developing a great product and sharing this with lots of other people.

CONNECTION We need to feel that we are connected to other people, or we’ll experience everything in isolation. This need will vary between different people so that we’ll have to strike our own balance between solitude and relationships with others.

CONTRIBUTION We need to serve the greater good and think beyond ourselves or we won’t be able to reach the pinnacle of success. Giving is extremely important in this respect. Of course there is a balance to be struck; we need to also take care of ourselves or we won’t have anything to give.

CONSTANT GROWTH We need to keep developing ourselves or life will become stagnant and will start to lose it’s meaning. Learning and experiencing new things keeps us alive and empowered.

You’ll probably have guessed that several needs overlap and that not all of them are equally important to everyone. For example we would like to have some control over change in our lives or it would just feel chaotic; and, we couldn’t play a central role in people’s lives unless we were connected to them.

Another important factor is ‘internal drive‘. Unless it comes from within your pursuits will not be successful, or, if they are, will not fulfill you. How many people are there that do what is expected of them despite not really being motivated for it?

Our purpose in life -according to the author- is not to fit in with other people’s expectations of us, but to find and follow our own internal desires. Is it time to turn off the computer and phone and engage in some self-reflection? If so it will pay off in the longer term!


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